The Musicians Joke Book

Download or read book The Musician's Joke Book written by Jim Green and published by Omnibus Press. This book was released on 2010-06-07 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A side-splitting selection of one-liners, comic definitions, yarns and witty quotes from the world of music. Most professions have their own jokes, but musicians seem to have more than their fair share. Perhaps it's the insane travel schedule, the bad lodgings or just lack of sleep. But as Jim Green says in his introduction, "...it's not surprising we're a band apart (so to speak), outcasts who seek only our own company, rubbing two jokes together for warmth and trying to feel superior by sneering at one another's abilities and personalities." So maybe the reason musicians love poking fun at one another is nothing more than getting in first before everyone else does. Or perhaps choosing laughter is the only alternative to despair... Anyway, here is a truly great selection of jokes, quotes and stories from the world's second oldest profession. Enjoy! Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo? A: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim. Q: What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist? A: His amp. Q: Why was the clarinetist staring at the orange juice bottle? A: Because the label said "concentrate." "I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." Elvis Presley

Download or read book The Musician's Ultimate Joke Book written by Kevin M. Mitchell and published by . This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humour.

Download or read book The Great Rock 'N' Roll Joke Book written by Dave Marsh and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 1997-09-15 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of him. What do you call guys that hang out with musicians? Drummers. Here it is the dirty, the absurd, the witty side of rock and roll as it turns 50. The love of young America's music in its purest form: The Joke.

Download or read book Music Jokes written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-20 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny Jokes About Music! Are you looking for the most funny and hilarious music jokes online? Do you want to dominate joke battles and be the funniest person around? This joke book will make you giggle for hours with some of the funniest jokes about music and musicians in the world. Including 100+ jokes! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy about music and musicians. These jokes are for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This joke book contains a ton of laugh out loud jokes! WARNING: You will laugh a lot! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: How is a heart like a musician? A: They both have a beat! HAHA! Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music. LOL! Q: Why did they arrest the musician? A: He got into treble. HAHA! Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. LOL! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bagpipe recital. HAHA! Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion. Funny and hilarious music and musician jokes! Your musician friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of musical jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about music and musicians will make everyone giggle and erupt with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!

Download or read book The Musician's Joke Book: Knowing the Score written by N. J. Groce and published by Omnibus Press. This book was released on 1996-10-15 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The authoritative collection of music jokes, covering classical, pop, jazz, and folk, including everything from the truly stupid to the musically complex joke.

Download or read book The Silliest Joke Book Ever written by and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2003-09-04 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilariously funny book containing hundreds of jokes on every subject under the sun, as well as the favourite jokes of famous celebrities. All royalties will be going to the Jeans for Genes Appeal in association with Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital. The appeal funds research into genetic disorders in children. A Jeans for Genes Day is held every year when people are invited to wear their jeans for a £1 donation.

Download or read book Infinitum written by Tim Fielder and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-01-19 with total page 291 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Afrofuturism, a movement that began in the Black community during the early 20th Century as an escape from racial hostility, economic turmoil, and aggressive policing, is enjoying a renaissance witnessed by the record-breaking success of creative projects, including the Oscar-winning Marvel Studios film, Black Panther; Regina King’s Emmy-winning HBO superhero tale, Watchmen; Janelle Monae’s hit album, Dirty Computer; Jordan Peele’s provocative feature Get Out; Octavia Butler’s famed science fiction novel, Kindred; and Beyonce’s visual album Black Is King. Now comes Afrofuturist Tim Fielder’s beautifully written and rendered INFINITUM. In INFINITUM, King Aja Ọba and Queen Lewa are revered across the African continent for their impressive political and military skills. Yet the future of their kingdom is in jeopardy, for the royal couple do not have an heir of their own. When the King kidnaps his son born to a concubine, Obinrin, she curses Ọba with the “gift” of immortality. After enjoying long, wonderful lives both, Queen Lewa and the crown prince die naturally, leaving the ageless bereaved King Ọba heartbroken and alone. Taking advantage of Ọba’s vulnerability, enemy nations rise to power and kill the king – or so they think. King Aja Ọba survives the fatal attack, finally realizing the bitter fruit of Obinrin’s curse. For millennia, the immortal Ọba wanders the earth, mourning his lost subjects and searching for a new kingdom. His journey leads him across time, allowing him to witness the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the New World, and the American Civil Rights Movement. The expansion of global technology brings about intergalactic travel, first contact with an alien species, and conflicts within and ultimately outside the known universe. Thrust into these seminal events, Ọba, now known by many as “John,” faces harrowing decisions that will determine mankind’s physical and spiritual trajectory. In 280 plus stunningly emotional and evocative full-color images, INFINITUM presents a unique cosmic experience, addressing issues of racism, classism, gender inequity, the encroachment of technology and the spiritual cost of war, while exposing the history behind ancient mysteries.