Scottish Jokes

Download or read book The Cheeky Wee Monkey Joke Book written by Allan Morrison and published by Black & White Publishing. This book was released on 2009-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kids will go bananas with the Cheeky Wee Monkey Joke Book! With over 1,000 side-splitting jokes to choose from, the Cheekey Wee Monkey will keep you laughing for hours. There are animal jokes, silly jokes, scary jokes, cheeky jokes, s...kool jokes, knock knock jokes and jokes you definitely can't tell your granny. So go on, laugh yourself silly!

Download or read book Scottish Jokes written by Chris Findlater and published by Waverley Books Limited. This book was released on 2014-06-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Scottish Jokes takes an irreverent view of Scotland and the Scots, and pokes fun, in a light-hearted way, at a nation renowned for its sense of humour - because it is free!

Download or read book Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? and Other Scottish Jokes written by Stuart McLean and published by Crombie Jardine Publishing. This book was released on 2008-06-30 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When the Scots tell a joke it's usually at their own expense. So this collection of gems pokes fun at just about everyone and everything from kilts and haggis through footie and thriftiness to Sassenachs, Teeries, and Glaswegians. Some of the jokes are old favourites retold, some are brand new, and some are a few specimens found on that internet thingy which have been massaged to make them almost funny.

Download or read book The Little Book of Scottish Jokes written by Greig Findlay and published by Summersdale. This book was released on 2017-11-09 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you’re Scottish, you like a wee joke. Aye, and you can take one just as well. Packed with the very best one-liners and yarns from the land of the brave, The Little Book of Scottish Jokes will get you guffawing in no time.

Download or read book Tartan Titters! written by Allan Morrison and published by Black & White Publishing. This book was released on 2008-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Tartan Titters ' brings together the best jokes in the land for the very first time, and proves beyond doubt that Scotland is one of the friendliest and funniest nations on Earth.

Download or read book The Book of Jokes written by Momus and published by Dalkey Archive Press. This book was released on 2009 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine a universe where every joke you've ever heard is solid, real, and occasionally dangerous--and all happening, one after the other, to the same small group of people. Detailing a series of filthy and ludicrous episodes in the life of a single family, saddled with a super-eccentric, sexually rapacious father, "The Book of Jokes" tells the story of the youth and education of a bland young boy doomed to record--in an incongruously serious, autobiographical mode--all the ridiculous incidents befalling his household. With their lives dictated by set ups and punchlines, the boy's family quickly becomes luridly dysfunctional, and he realizes that the only way to escape his tragicomic fate is by trying to take control of the joke-telling himself. Channeling the spirits of Chaucer, Rabelais, Flann O'Brien, and Gian Francesco Poggio Bracciolini, the Vatican secretary who compiled the first known book of jokes in 1451, "The Book of Jokes" is a happy raspberry in the face of life as we know and tell it.

Download or read book Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road written by Stuart McLean and published by . This book was released on 2008-06 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This little book doesn't merely poke fun at Sassenachs, Glaswegians, Aberdonians, Dundonians and Teeries. No, it manages to have a go at everyone. From kilts and haggis to whisky, footie and thriftiness, this hilarious collection of Scottish jokes is a Nevis of Laughs. XXXXXA Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman shouts, "Awa ye eijit, can ye no tell that's a foo o coos keich?!" (Translated: Begone you idiot, can't you tell it's full of cow shit?!) The man shouts back, "I'm English. Speak English, I don't understand you!" To which the Scotsman wholeheartedly responds, "Use both hands, you'll get more in." XXXX Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he slowly started to clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... "Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"