Bear V Shark

Download or read book Bear v. Shark written by Chris Bachelder and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2002-02-19 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: So it's kind of like a parlor game, then?... The question is apparently of Ancient Eastern extraction.... It seems to be a gut thing. The answer just feels right and then you come up with reasons.... Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a Shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Shark? In this brilliant satire of our media-saturated culture, the sovereign nation of Las Vegas -- the entertainment capital of the world -- is host to Bear v. Shark II. After a disappointing loss in the first matchup between the land and the sea, the bear is back with a vengeance and out for blood. All of America is obsessed with the upcoming spectacle, so tickets are hard to come by. With an essay entitled "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live," young Curtis Norman wins a national writing contest and four tickets to the event. The Normans load up their SUV and embark on a road trip to Vegas. As they head cross-country, the family is besieged by a dizzying barrage of voices: television and radio personalities, public service announcements, bear and shark pundits, Freudians, theologians, and self-published authors, in addition to the Bear v. Shark fanatics, cultists, and resisters they meet at roadside gas stations and restaurants. Overwhelmed by factoids, statistics, and ten-second debates, the Normans -- along with the rest of country -- can't seem to get their facts straight, much less figure out a way to actually communicate with one another. Sound bites and verbal tics predominate; misheard, misunderstood, and just plain mistaken information is absorbed, mangled, and regurgitated to hilarious effect; and the most inane subjects -- from the disappearance of Dutch culture to the Shakespearean bias toward the bear -- are vigorously and obsessively debated. These meaningless exchanges of misinformation leave Mr. Norman disenchanted, world-weary, and ambivalent about the impending show, but the family eventually makes it to Vegas for an apocalyptic and surprisingly emotional ending. Written in quick, commercial-like segments that mirror the media it satirizes, Chris Bachelder's debut is a fiercely funny, razor-sharp novel about the odd intersection of zealotry and trivia, about the barriers to human connection in a society that values entertainment above all else. Through a clever act of novelistic subterfuge, Bachelder makes us laugh at our penchant for absurd and useless information while drawing us into a dazzling spectacle of his own imagination.

Download or read book U.S.! written by Chris Bachelder and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2006-02-21 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An inventive new novel by the author of Bear v. Shark chronicles the serial resurrection and assassination of muckraker Upton Sinclair, who is repeatedly brought back to risk his life for the Socialist revolution, only to end up dead at the hands of those seeking fame, fortune, and American business. Original. 20,000 first printing.

Download or read book I Am the Shark written by Joan Holub and published by Crown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2021-05-04 with total page 27 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What makes the great white shark (one of) the greatest fish in the sea? FIN-d out in this hilarious fish-out-of-water story that's perfect for Shark Week and all year-round! "Don't miss this one." -School Library Journal, Starred Review Hi! I am Great White Shark, and if you get this book, you'll read all about ME--the greatest shark in the sea! Not so fast! Greenland Shark here, and as the oldest shark in this book, that makes me the greatest. Did someone say fast? I'm Mako Shark, and I'm the fastest shark in this book! Eat my bubbles! Wow, I'm Hammerhead Shark. You don't need my special eyes to see that there are lots of great sharks in this book. Sink your teeth into it now! New York Times bestselling author Joan Holub makes a splash with bestselling illustrator Laurie Keller to deliver an entertaining undersea story filled with the greatest shark facts in the ocean!

Download or read book Shark vs. Train written by Chris Barton and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2011-02-11 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shark VS. Train! WHO WILL WIN?! If you think Superman vs. Batman would be an exciting matchup, wait until you see Shark vs. Train. In this hilarious and wacky picture book, Shark and Train egg each other on for one competition after another, including burping, bowling, Ping Pong, piano playing, pie eating, and many more! Who do YOU think will win, Shark or Train? [star] "This is a genius concept." -- Publishers Weekly, starred review [star] "Lichtenheld's snarling shark and grimacing train are definitely ready for a fight, and his scenarios gleefully play up the absurdity. The combatants' expressions are priceless when they lose. A glum train in smoky dejection, or a bewildered, crestfallen shark? It's hard to choose; both are winners." -- Kirkus, starred review

Download or read book Abbott Awaits written by Chris Bachelder and published by LSU Press. This book was released on 2011-03 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A quiet tour de force, Chris Bachelder's Abbott Awaits transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary, startlingly depicting the intense and often heartbreaking challenges that a vulnerable, imaginative young father faces as he lives his everyday American existence.The vexation of Abbott's pensive self-doubt comes to a head one day as he cleans vomited raspberries out of his daughter's car seat and muses: "The following propositions are both true: (A) Abbott would not, given the opportunity, change one significant element of his life, but (B) Abbott cannot stand his life." Composed of small moments of domestic wonder and terror Bachelder's novel is a charming story of misadventure, anxiety, and the every-day battles.

Download or read book There's a Bear on My Chair written by Ross Collins and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2022-03 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Poor Mouse! A bear has settled in his favorite chair, and that chair just isn't big enough for two. Mouse tries all kinds of tactics to move pesky Bear, but nothing works. Once Mouse has gone, Bear gets up and walks home. But what's that? Is that a mouse in Bear's house?

Download or read book Grizzlyshark written by Ryan Ottley and published by . This book was released on 2016 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Originally published in single magazine form as GrizzlyShark, GrizzlyShark returns, & GrizzlyShark vs. Seabear."