Ive Still Got Iti Just Cant Remember Where I Put It

Download or read book I've Still Got It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It written by Jenna McCarthy and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-07-01 with total page 335 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to Middle Age! Please check your functioning internal thermostat and razor-sharp memory at the door and pour yourself a nice, stiff drink... Jenna McCarthy might be forty-something, but she doesn’t feel forty-something. She certainly doesn’t look forty-something. (Actually she does, but she’s in denial so maybe don’t mention it?) And between complaining about how tired she is, trying to remember what she came in here for and wondering whether she drinks too much, she does not have time for a crisis. She has, however, had time to crack the mysterious midlife code. She’s figured out how to tame her muffin top, keep the spark in her marriage and probably not die a fiery hoarder’s death. She’s learned the trick to looking ten years younger and the secret to feeling ten times happier (and it only cost $14.99 plus shipping and handling). And she’s discovered the one thing she will need to do for the rest of ever if she’s going to continue to refuse to “dress her age.” Tackling everything from cosmetic surgery and financial panic to skinny jeans and the meaning of life, I’ve Still Got It... is a middle age manifesto filled with hilarious misadventures, humiliating confessions and occasional (hot) flashes of genius.

Download or read book I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It written by Rita Rudner and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2008-05-13 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I bought a new wrinkle cream. If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month. Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks. I ate it. As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word. In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all. So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

Download or read book I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It written by Rita Rudner and published by Crown. This book was released on 2009-05-05 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."--O, The Oprah Magazine

Download or read book The Last Lecture written by Randy Pausch and published by . This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.

Download or read book Dream Sequence written by J.J. DiBenedetto and published by Writing Dreams. This book was released on 2015-01-20 with total page 378 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sara Barnes thought her life was perfectly ordinary – until the night she began stepping into other people’s dreams. Follow Sara as she learns to cope with this extraordinary gift (or curse) in the first three books of the Dream Doctor Mysteries: DREAM STUDENT It’s bad enough that, thanks to her supernatural talent, Sara is learning more than she ever needed to know about her friends and classmates, watching their most secret fantasies whether she wants to or not. Much worse are the other dreams, the ones she sees nearly every night, featuring a strange, terrifying man who commits unspeakable crimes. Now Sara wonders if she’s the only witness to a serial killer – and the only one who knows when and where he’s going to strike next. DREAM DOCTOR Medical school and life as a newlywed would be enough by themselves for anybody to handle. But Sara’s got another problem – her dreams have started up again. Almost everyone at the medical school is dreaming about the death of the school’s least popular teacher, Dr. Morris, and once again, Sara finds herself in the role of unwilling witness to a murder before it happens. But this time, there are too many suspects to count, and it doesn’t help matters that she hates Dr. Morris every bit as much as any of his would-be murderers do. DREAM CHILD Sara thought she had made peace with her dreaming talent, but she’s got a surprise coming: her four-year-old daughter has inherited it, too. Unraveling a mystery with lives on the line is difficult enough under the best of circumstances. But when Sara has to view all the evidence through the eyes – and dreams - of a toddler, it may be an impossible task.

Download or read book I Just Can't Put It Down written by Wolf and published by Author House. This book was released on 2014-07-14 with total page 133 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: War and memories of war; both are products of soldiers. The memories I wish to share with you are things that happened to someone at some space in time and impacted on the memories of many. Soldier's memories have always been the remembrance of wars. I think for that reason, soldiers tend to have selective memories. Soldiers also have a tendency that over the years, they lie a lot. Are the lies really lies, or is it the fact that as the years pass, they soften the horrors? Soldiers speak only in bits and pieces. Scraps of reality of things we did so long ago. Memories pasted together with a bond that graciously escapes those fortunate enough to never have been there. Yet those memories return to torment not only us, but also those around us that love us so. I do not wish to defend the innermost corners of my mind or the minds of others. I will only attempt to place the amalgamation of events that lie there into words as they form in my mind. These actions that happened so long ago, still smolders there in all of us. The facts ever so little softened or changed, take the place of reality. The mind selects the parts that seem important and magnifies them. As the grandiose stories begin to take shape, undisturbed sleep slowly returns to those who have learned to live with their lies.

Download or read book Sister Teresa written by Bárbara Mujica and published by ABRAMS. This book was released on 2008-02-26 with total page 345 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This brilliant fictional biography of Saint Teresa of Ávila breathes new life into a sacred subject” (Booklist). She is Saint Teresa—known as a mystic, reformer, and founder of convents, and the author of numerous texts that introduced her radical religious ideas and practices to a society suffering through the repressive throes of the Spanish Inquisition. In Bárbara Mujica’s masterful tale, her story—her days of youthful romance, her sensual fits of spiritual rapture, secret heritage as a Jewish convert to Catholicism, cloak-and-dagger political dealings, struggles against sexual blackmail, and mysterious illness—unfolds with a tumultuous urgency. Blending fact with fiction in vivid detail, painstakingly researched and beautifully rendered, Mujica’s tale conjures a brilliant picture of sisterhood, faith, the terror of religious persecution, the miracle of salvation, and of one woman’s challenge to the power of strict orthodoxy, a challenge that consisted of a crime of passion—her own personal relationship with God. “This engaging novel depicts Teresa of Ávila as an extraordinary woman whose visions, church reform ideas and writing may well have been inspired by God . . . Surprisingly light and entertaining.” —Publishers Weekly “A lifelong friend remembers Teresa of Ávila, ‘Spain’s most beloved saint,’ in this richly entertaining historical novel from Mujica . . . An earthy, humanizing portrait.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “Mujica brings this tumultuous time in history to vivid life. A very interesting and compelling novel which focuses more on Teresa’s entire life rather than simply her religion.” —Historical Novel Society