Bottling Farts Epub

Download or read book Bottling Farts (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.

Download or read book 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-12-13 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.

Download or read book Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-11-24 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.

Download or read book Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-07-02 with total page 25 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.

Download or read book The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.

Download or read book The Ugly Truth written by Jeff Kinney and published by Penguin Books Limited. This book was released on 2012 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth is the massively funny fifth title in the highly-illustrated, bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney. Perfect for both boys and girls of 8+, reluctant readers and all the millions of devoted Wimpy Kid fans out there. You can also discover Greg on the big screen in any one of the three Wimpy Kid Movie box office smashes.The massively funny fifth book in the bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.Greg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it's cracked up to be?Suddenly Greg is dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older. And after a fight with his best friend Rowley, it looks like Greg is going to have to face the "ugly truth" all by himself . . .Praise for Jeff Kinney and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series:'The world has gone crazy for Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series' - Sun'Kinney is right up there with J K Rowling as one of the bestselling children's authors on the planet' - Independent'Hilarious!' - Sunday Telegraph'The most hotly anticipated children's book of the year is here - Diary of a Wimpy Kid' - The Big IssueAs well as being an international bestselling author, Jeff Kinney is also an online developer and designer. He is the creator of the children's virtual world, poptropica where you can also find the Wimpy Kid boardwalk. He was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2009. He lives with his family in Massachusetts, USA. www.wimpykidclub.co.uk

Download or read book This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen written by Tadeusz Borowski and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1992-08-01 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tadeusz Borowski’s concentration camp stories were based on his own experiences surviving Auschwitz and Dachau. In spare, brutal prose he describes a world where where the will to survive overrides compassion and prisoners eat, work and sleep a few yards from where others are murdered; where the difference between human beings is reduced to a second bowl of soup, an extra blanket or the luxury of a pair of shoes with thick soles; and where the line between normality and abnormality vanishes. Published in Poland after the Second World War, these stories constitute a masterwork of world literature. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.